Navigating Parenting Concerns After Separation for the Best Interests of Your Child
- paula7030
- Jan 16
- 4 min read
Separation brings many challenges, but when children are involved, the focus must always be on their well-being. For many parents, deciding how to care for their children after a separation can feel overwhelming and emotionally charged. While every family is different, the guiding question is always the same: what arrangement serves the best interests of your child?
This post explains important considerations under British Columbia’s Family Law Act (FLA) and offers practical guidance to help parents navigate parenting concerns with clarity and confidence.
Understanding the Best Interests of the Child
In British Columbia, all parenting decisions must be made in accordance with the best interests of the child (Section 37 of the FLA). This means looking beyond just convenience or parental preferences to consider the child’s specific needs and circumstances, including:
The child’s physical, emotional, and psychological safety and well-being
The child’s relationships with parents, siblings, and other significant people
The history of care, including who has been responsible for daily routines and caregiving
The need for stability and continuity in the child’s life
Each parent’s ability to provide care and meet parenting responsibilities
Parenting Time and How It Works
Parenting Time refers to the time a child spends in the care of each parent or guardian. It can be arranged by mutual agreement or, if parents cannot agree, ordered by the court. Parenting Time schedules vary widely depending on the child’s age, school schedule, and family circumstances.
Some common parenting time arrangements include, for example, alternating weeks or weekends , split weeks with midweek visits , or extended time during holidays and school breaks
Parents should think about what schedule best supports their child’s needs. For instance, younger children often benefit from shorter, more frequent visits to maintain strong bonds, while older children may prefer longer stays with each parent.
Open, understanding, and respectful communication between parents is essential to creating a flexible and workable parenting time plan. Some parents choose to use co-parenting apps, such as OurFamilyWizard, to keep arrangements organized and documented. When disagreements arise, mediation can help parents find solutions without resorting to court. In many cases, respectful communication alone can be an effective way to resolve parenting issues without escalating conflict.
Parenting Responsibilities and Decision-Making
While parenting time addresses when a child is with each parent, parenting responsibilities address how major decisions are made. Under section 41 of the Family Law Act, parents are generally expected to share responsibility for the care and upbringing of a child including making day to day decisions affecting the child.
Both parents need to discuss these important decisions, such as:
Where and with whom the child lives
Health care and medical treatment
Education, schooling, and extracurricular activities
Cultural, religious, and linguistic upbringing
Handling legal and administrative matters on the child’s behalf
See the complete list with examples in this link: Parental-Responsibilities-Examples-Excerpt-from-Bulletin_Part-4-Care-and-Time_Div-1-4.pdf
Even after separation, parents are expected to consult one another on important matters and act in good faith. When parents communicate respectfully and focus on the child’s needs, they create a stable environment that supports healthy development and reassurance during a time of change.
Practical Tips for Managing Parenting Concerns
Separation is a difficult time, but focusing on your child’s best interests can guide your decisions. Here are some practical steps:
Keep your child’s routine as consistent as possible. Stability helps children feel safe and secure during periods of change.
Put aside conflicts with your ex-partner during parenting discussions. Focus on what benefits your child, not unresolved issues.
Document agreements in writing. Clear parenting plans reduce misunderstandings and future conflict.
Use mediation services if you are unable to agree. Neutral third parties can help parents find common ground and child-focus solutions without going to court.
Be flexible and willing to adjust schedules as your child grow. Children's need change over time, they require different support at different stages and parenting arrangement may need to be adjusted accordingly.
Seek legal advice if necessary. Understanding your rights and obligations helps you make informed decisions.
Support your child though the transition. Parents can support their children by:
Listening to their feelings without judgment
Reassuring them that both parents love them
Keeping communication open about changes
Encouraging relationships with both parents and extended family
Watching for signs of stress or anxiety and seeking professional help if needed
When Court Intervention Becomes Necessary
If parents cannot agree on parenting time or responsibilities, the court may need to step in. Judges will review all relevant factors under the Family Law Act to decide what arrangement serves the child’s best interests.
While court involvement can resolve disputes, it is often stressful, time consuming, and costly. Parents are encouraged to try negotiation or mediation first to discuss concerns openly, focus on their child’s best interests, and reach practical solutions in a less adversarial setting.
It is important to address and settle all parenting arrangements after separation and to record those arrangements in a clear separation agreement with a detailed parenting plan. Following the agreement consistently and maintaining respect for the other parent will help you thrive after separation and support a healthy environment for the children.
Disclaimer: The information provided is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. If you require legal assistance, please consult a qualified lawyer.
Posted by: Paula Camila Monoga
Family Law Advocacy
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